Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
