Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
