Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
