that's an acceptable place to lick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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