you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
