I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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