Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
