i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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