make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
