Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
