Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
