it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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