i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
