One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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