we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
