we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
