Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
