absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
