Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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