what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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