How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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