worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
