don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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