It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
