I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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