if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They took my balls.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
