so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
