maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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