Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
