I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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