The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
