She's JV to your varsity
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
