is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
