who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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