I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
