chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
