Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
