We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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