planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
