whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
