The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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