I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do vagina's smell?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
