i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
