a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize