This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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