The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
