yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i believe in u and ur pee
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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