Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize