so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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