I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
