Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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