We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
