We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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