pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You took a bar mat shot.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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