hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize