You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
