You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize