There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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