would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
