i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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