woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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