no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
