I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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