PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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